Two tips to filter out the fluff and focus on what’s important to you
“I know what I should do, but I just don’t do it.” “I’ve read a lot of self-help books but they just aren’t working for me.” “I actually run the other way sometimes….” Maybe it’s not that you’re lacking willpower, it might just be that the methods you’ve been reading about don’t work for you. Instead of plugging away trying to follow advice that doesn’t seem to fit you, research by the Harvard Business Review has two super strategies for you. Tip 1: Admit defeat without fighting it If you feel defeated, accept where you are and have compassion for yourself. When you admit to yourself, “I’m stuck. This feels awful,” let that admission sit in your awareness without fighting it or using it to berate yourself. It will lose its power over you. Treat yourself with compassion by recognising your strengths, recalling challenges you’ve overcome in the past, and affirming your capacity to solve problems. It's ok if you're not perfect all of the time. You can do this on a day to day basis by checking in with how you feel at different points in the day. If frustration is building, step away, take a walk, or get something to eat to clear your mind. Tip 2: Focus on the process not the goal For many people, keeping track of what they plan to accomplish and by when helps them stay on track. If this isn’t you, another method is to focus on the process rather than the goal. It can be a powerful perspective shift for many. One of the study participants reported that if she frames her main goal for the day as “finish project,” she feels more stressed as the deadline gets closer. It’s like it’s looming over her. On the other hand, when she calls it “work on project” or “make progress on project,” they actually serve as milestones so they’re motivating to reach. Staying on track for your goals doesn’t have to be a struggle. While it may not be easy, making progress can be one of the most energizing and satisfying experiences anyone can have. If someone else’s goal strategies feels artificial to you, then it’s time to try something different.
Speak soon, Erika Gilbert
My Income Organiser